What’s the Difference Between a Somatic Massage & an Erotic Massage?

This is something I reflect on often as I move through this work. On the surface, somatic and erotic massage can look similar — both involve touch, pleasure and intimacy. But the intention behind them is often very different.

Of course, your experience will vary depending on your practitioner, who brings their own unique skills and energy. I can only speak from my own perspective — but whoever you see, the experience should be shame-free. These treatments support your well-being and they deserve to be celebrated and enjoyed.

I’ll admit I’m biased, but I believe a somatic experience offers something deeper than a typical erotic massage. As a somatic practitioner, my focus is on your pleasure — but it’s pleasure with intention. It’s about switching off your mind, tuning into your body and receiving without any pressure to perform or need to give back. It’s an experience that’s just for you.

Erotic massage usually focuses on the outcome — and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Sexual pleasure is vital to your well-being. But where erotic massage often aims for a clear end goal, somatic massage is more about the journey and experience itself. It invites you to slow down, get curious and feel what’s happening in your whole body.

One aspect of erotic bodywork is that it can often become a shared experience between you and the practitioner. And the challenge is that your attention shifts to them — what is he doing? can I touch him? — and on and on as the mind takes over. You’re no longer in your body; you’ve moved into your head. You’re now having a mind experience instead of an embodied one.

That’s why somatic work places such a strong emphasis on receiving without any need to give back. It’s not about being selfish — it’s about staying connected to your experience. This doesn’t take away from your experience; it actually deepens it. A felt experience is far richer than a mind one.

You can’t be in your head and fully enjoy your body at the same time. Somatic work helps quiet the mind conversation so you can drop into real, felt sensation — the kind of pleasure that builds from the inside out. It can be powerful — even mind-blowing — if you're willing to let go of thinking and connect to the aliveness of your body.

That’s why we begin each session with a conversation — about what the treatment will involve. Together, we set clear boundaries: what’s welcome, what’s not. With consent in place and intentions clear, this creates a safe space so you can fully relax on the table — not thinking about what might happen, but surrendering to the pleasure of touch and the joys of your body.

Some Key Differences

Erotic Massage	Somatic Massage
Focused on orgasm & release	Focused on awakening & sensations
Mind experience	Felt experience
Blurred boundaries	Clear boundaries & consent
Genital-focused	Full-body focused
Outcome-driven	Experience-driven
Touch is for stimulation	Touch is for connection to self
Can become about the practitioner	All about you & your experience

Final Thoughts

Both styles of massage can offer something valuable — it really comes down to what you’re looking for.

Somatic massage doesn’t ignore sexual energy — it simply works with it differently. There’s no pressure to perform, no need to impress and nothing expected in return. You’re free to feel what you feel, explore what’s there and enjoy it fully — with no shame, no rush, and no obligation.

And more often than not, this leads to something far more rewarding.

It’s not about escape — it’s about being present with yourself.

This is your space.

Your body.

Your experience.

Note: Some somatic practitioners specialise in working with trauma. That’s not my lane — I focus on joy, presence, and helping you connect to your body in an environment that’s safe and free from judgment.

If you’re dealing with trauma, I recommend working with someone specifically trained in that area. You can check out the SSEAA (Somatic Sex Educators Association of Australasia) for a list of qualified practitioners.